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Love vs Fear

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Here are my tips for expecting families who are committed to begin a new life with love, not fear.


  1. Don’t listen to any negative birth stories. If someone wants to share their negative experience with you, tell them that you feel for them, however, right now you should take care of your baby. Your baby is listening and you do not want to scare him or her. Once you give birth, you can come back to this conversation and share your birth stories.
  2. Don’t ask for any birth-related advice on social media. That’s a very important one! Just don’t do it. Especially don’t ask people whether you should get an epidural or go natural. Social media is a great way to socialize, share photos, and even do networking, but it is absolute no as to choosing your birth preferences. If you need advise and support to make such an important decision – hire a doula. If you can’t afford a birth doula, ask a doula if she can provide you with a consultation for a lower fee. You can also consult with a local childbirth educator, preferably outside the hospital system. Just don’t go to social media. It is not a good idea to read what some random people that you might not even know write to you about their perception of birth.
  3. Please don’t ask for advice on social media regarding a good care provider to attend your birth. People may tell you that so and so is the best ever doctor, but it doesn’t mean that this doctor is the best for you. It is important to start your research from determining your birth preferences first. Then you can find a provider who fits the best and can support your goal. Social media research can be a good starting point, but once you receive suggestions, only then you should start your research. Look at the stats. Ask your doula or childbirth educator. They can help you chose a provider who will be inlined with your birth preferences and your birth philosophy.


  1. Eliminate negative thoughts about the birth: whether it is your own birth, anyone else’s birth and the birth of your own baby.
  2. Listen to positive birth stories. If you don’t have anyone around you who can share incredible birth stories, ask your doula to connect you with her past clients who had amazing birth experience. Don’t be shy – call that woman you don’t know and listen to her fearless story.
  3. Do a short “feeling love session” every day. Just lie down or sit down in a quiet room (if possible). Close your eyes. Find your heart. Feel. Feel love to your baby, love to your self, love to your partner (when applicable). This love will be the force that will guide you and your baby during birth.
  4. Believe in yourself and trust your body. Your body has a perfect design. It is designed to give birth.

Love is power. You will succeed.

omdoulaLove vs Fear

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  • Kate - February 16, 2019 reply

    Thank you so much for sharing these points Olga! I hadn’t considered the power of love and how it can make my birth story a successful one. I will follow your advice. Please write more!

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